I prayed for you...
The last 18 months have been a bit of a roller coaster, systems have crumbled like dust, there has been a cultural shift, it almost feels as if everything has changed and there`s no cultural roadmap..
Dear Undergraduate,
The last 24-hours haven`t been the easiest for me, I felt like my life was crumbling beneath my feet and I was free-falling. I got one piece of information that I had silently known for a while and it made me feel like every decision I`ve made in the last couple of months would crumble and fall apart. It created a sense of uncertainty that threatened all the relationships and plans I am walking towards. Turns out I will not be going to Law school this year due to the pandemic and other factors, I`ve had a hunch that this would happen so I took conscious steps to live every day as it came.
The truth is news regarding law school has been back and forth like waves going and coming to the shore. For a few months, there has been silence so I haven`t had to think about it, I`ve been able to build and plan. I guess I did not expect the news to come after such a long time and it made me so aware of how feeble systems and relationships can be, which made me so scared that all the relationships I`ve recently built would fail. It made me feel very incapable of executing all the plans I am working towards because who am I to think my plans will not crumble like the current systems.
At 2:45 am I sat on my bed crying because I really did feel lost, helpless and tired. I quickly pulled out my prayer journal and began expressing myself to Abba, because the fear was tangible, it could feel it, like a lump in my chest. Although, I do not feel 100% better at this moment I am holding onto the fact that Abba`s plans for me are for good. I am resting in the fact that His ways are not my ways so they will be different from what is considered normal, I am allowing myself to become comfortable with the newness He is expressing through me and around me. I am well aware that I have a couple more tears to cry but I`m excited to see where He`s taking me.
As the tears rolled down my face, all i wanted to do was pray for you, the last 18 months have been a bit of a roller coaster, systems have crumbled like dust, there has been a cultural shift, it almost feels as if everything has changed like there`s no cultural road map for us to follow comfortably.
Abba I pray for your friend on the other side of this screen, it is my heart desire that your friend finds rest in the promise of your unending presence, I pray that you redefine strength to your friend so he/she always starts with you and never tires of coming back to you. I ask Abba that you help your friend take baby steps daily in the new paths you are charting, Oh abba help your friend hold your hand as you both walk across the waters because you are still in the business of doing the impossible.
Lord, I ask that you give your friend the strength to be the pioneer he/she is. This morning Abba I ask that you dispel all concerns, worries and fears, I ask for a new revelation of the fact that perfect love casts out all fear ( insert scripture). I ask that you reveal the seeds that these fears are attached to and expose the strategy of the enemy attacking the mind of your friend.
Thank you for this season of newness, thank you for choosing your friend to be part of the ones breaking into new frontiers. Thank you for using your friend to do away with old ineffective systems. Thank you because everything you make is good, so it is a fact that in the end, it will be good no matter how it looks or feels right now.
Amen
If you`ve had a long day or a hard couple of days feel free to share with me or pull out a journal and speak to Abba.
Love,
Onyawoibi